Bells, Bells, Bells

All the heavens, seem to twinkle
With a crystalline delight;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the tintinnabulation that so musically wells
From the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells -
From the jingling and the tinkling of the bells.

- Edgar Allen Poe

A while back, I wrote about windchimes, and how nice they can be in the garden. But some people just don’t like the high-pitched tinkling sound that chimes make. For those people, garden bells are the answer.

Some may prefer the classic “bell-shaped” look, which some retailers refer to as the farm bell. Some emulate nature, with shapes that resemble turtles and acorns, and clappers that swing from butterflies, leaves, and dragonflies. Garden bells are now specially shaped to enhance the visual appeal of each planting plot, and appear to sprout from the ground on metallic branches. Bells for the garden have even been used in exotic water features, where bubbling currents sound the chimes. Some varieties have the feel of the far east, and others are quite simply unique in design and sound.

Since I live out in the countryside, and have a kid and a dog, I like the idea of having a dinner bell. I could use it to establish the Pavlovian response in both human and canine. If they’re down by the pond, playing, I could just ring the bell to call them back for dinner. It has to beat the alternatives: shouting (which is often ignored), the referee’s whistle (which has to be annoying to the neighbors when I blow it), or, heaven forbid, actually walking down there to talk to them in a normal tone of voice.

Now, I just have to figure out what tintinnabulation is, and how to make it happen. That Poe sure did love him some bells.

Book Review: I Don’t Mind Hitting Bottom, I Just Hate Dragging

I’ll be honest here. When Kyle Whelliston told me he was going to write a book about Tony Ingle, I had to do a quick google search to find out who the heck he was talking about. I learned that he’s the head coach of relatively new DI entrant the Kennesaw State Owls. Coach Ingle won a DII national championship with the Owls a few years back, and was once the interim head coach of the BYU Cougars.

That’s the straight biography, but it doesn’t tell you one thing about the man or why you should want to read a book about him. I’m here to handle the latter part.

Reasons to read this book:

1. It’s a story of triumph over adversity.

I hear you, out there, groaning “Ohhh, no. Not triumph over adversity! I already have the Lifetime Network!” I am as resistent to being uplifted through emotional manipulation as the next guy, maybe more so. But nothing like that happens here. Tony Ingle relates his dirt-poor upbringing in Georgia with unflinching detail. He’s brutally honest about the emotional scars caused by a childhood facial deformity that kept him from the symmetrical ideal. Unlike just about anyone else who has ever related his own story, he’s honest about throwing himself pity-parties, mistakes he made, and selfish thoughts he had to battle. The triumph takes a long-ass time to arrive. It’s unadulterated reality.

2. It’s damn funny.

If the previous paragraph made you want to slit your wrists, hold up there, sonny! All of the ups and downs of Tony Ingle’s life are told in his own voice, with an inimitable self-deprecating style that makes the chapters fly by. I turned down page corners every time I laughed out loud at an Ingleism, then went back and copied out some of my favorites for you:

Referencing his high school successes in Georgia: “It was just like the movie Hoosiers, but with thicker accents.”

“The morning after we lost by one point to Brewton Parker in the regional championship game, I was as low as the dry part of a whale turd.”

Ref: “OK, Coach, what’s your question?” Tony: “Sir, are you using a flathead or a Phillips?”

On landing Shawn Bradley: “(W)e were all jumping up and down, laughing and hugging. We celebrated in the great Mormon tradition – by ordering a round of milkshakes.”

Then there’s this joke, told to Ingle in the midst of a horrible winless streak as interim head coach at BYU:

Israel Ingle: Hey, daddy, knock-knock!

Tony Ingle: Who’s there?

Israel: Owen.

Tony: Owen who?

Israel: You’re Owen 19!

Q.E.D.

3. It may actually make you try to be a better person.

Again, I say, I’m allergic to sap. But there was a part in this book where Tony Ingle talked about coming home exhausted after a day of coaching, only to have one or more of his five children beg him for attention. So he’d take them to shoot baskets without fail, operating on the basic assumption that a father should always be there for his kids, and tiredness was no excuse.

I have one kid, and I can’t even live by this stricture. But now I hear that line in my head every time I’m tempted to beg off, and it shames me into trying a bit harder. That’s a positive impact.

Basically, it’s a good read. You’ll never feel like it’s being rushed nor dragged out. You’ll enjoy it, and you’ll be glad you took the time to get to know Tony Ingle.

Buy It: I Don’t Mind Hitting Bottom, I Just Hate Dragging

Gutters: They’re Not Just for Bowling Alleys Any More

When my family first moved into the house we’re living in now, we immediately noticed a few things that would need to be replaced eventually. I say “eventually’, because so many of them were big-ticket items: heat pump, some cruddy plumbing, a hot water heater… and on and on. There was no way we could fix even two of the items at one time – it would have broken the bank.

So, we tried to be logical about it and prioritize. Obviously, we didn’t want our heat going out with winter on the horizon, so we endeavored to fix that first. Of course, the rest of the house didn’t respect our decision – we had to perform stopgap replacements on several sections of the plumbing as they failed (or buy a boat) one by one.

But the real surprise came when I was fixing breakfast one morning and noticed an odd shadow over the kitchen window. I went outside to see what it was. Turned out that a large section of the gutter had become detached and was currently hanging over the front garden. Something I had hoped would be OK for a while had also catastrophically failed. We couldn’t ignore twelve feet of tin hanging over us like the mythical Sword of Damocles.

So, we steeled ourselves to take on some debt on the home equity line of credit, and decided to install something that would last. Our previous gutters had become choked with leaves, and were two stories above the ground where the extent of the problem was invisible. I think there were saplings growing in the detritus. We wanted a gutter protection system this time around.

I’m convinced that keeping all of those soggy leaves out of the stream will reduce the drag on the brackets that affix the system to the house. Which should, in turn make it less likely that bits of it will keep falling from the sky. Gutter protection might cost more at first, but believe me, in the long run, it pays for itself.

You have many choices of gutter protection systems. Some are just shaped differently, some have wire mesh over the entire surface. Some can be added after the fact. Just make sure you get the right type for the trees in your area. Pine needles are going to slip through mesh, which is more helpful for your deciduous-variety leaves. 

Whatever you choose, it’s worth it to extend the life of your gutters. And keep them from beaning you while you’re gardening.

Book Review: Outside the Limelight by Kathy Orton

Ivy League basketball has an image problem. Not only does it labor under the mistaken belief that bad basketball is played in the hallowed halls, but it also fights America’s class war stereotypes. Some of the contempt the Ivies battle comes from the perception that these are elite, spoiled kids who should be rowing on rivers or winning badminton tournaments.

I fell prey to that attitude myself when I flippantly stated that Ivy schools should not be allowed to storm the floor. I have since recanted publicly, and I’m honest enough to admit that I was employing reverse snobbery when I made that flat statement.

Kathy Orton’s book Outside the Limelight: Basketball in the Ivy League does not explicitly set out to dispel the ivory tower mystique, but that’s the effect it had on me. Midway through the first chapter, I had an epiphany. These kids don’t have to play basketball. And that’s why we should respect those who do. There’s no glamor in it for them. No scholarships and no increased status on campus. Bus rides to leaky gyms are their rewards for dedication to the sport. Nearly every kid on the floor at Harvard or Dartmouth over the years could more readily secure his future wealth by studying, rather than going to practice, but they just can’t put down the orange roundie. That’s love of the game, right there.

Orton’s book focuses on the 2005-2006 Ivy campaign. It was a turbulent year for the usually predictable league, as traditional power Princeton stumbled under the leadership of Joe Scott, after having dominated the league for over a decade. The other “P” school – Penn – won the league that year and the next, but the duel for primacy between the Tigers and Quakers has recently taken a backseat to the emergent Cornell dynasty.

As such, the book is a bit of a capsule of a time gone by. But this is the Ivy League – things haven’t changed that much. The gyms are still the same, and the players still face the perception that they are (relatively) dumb jocks who get preferential treatment in the admissions process.

That’s why you should read it. Get to know these guys instead of stereotyping them. They’re real ballers.

If you’re like me, you might find the first section a bit of a chore to wade through, and I think I know why that is. The non-conference season in the Ivy is a litany of losses in far-away places, and some of the descriptions of game action suffer from the fact that Orton was likely unable to leave her full-time job with the Washington Post to follow the teams around. The games she was able to attend – especially the conference tilts - sparkle with the sort of detail that can only come from being there in person – an object lesson for any aspiring hoops writer.  

This is a great book for anyone who wants to delve behind the highlight-package view of sports (or sportz, as Kyle would have it), and that’s exactly the sort of people who read this site.

So go for it.

Light My Fire

I can remember a time when grilling was strictly for meat. Mostly steak and burgers, back in the day. Sure, you could get a hotdog in there, maybe a bratwurst or other form of sausage. But it was certainly all about sizzling meat. And it still can be, but there are so many options for how to light up the cow or pig.

The Fire Magic Grill allows you to put the meat directly on the grill or use the rotisserie. Rotisserie is such a great way to cook something like a whole chicken or turkey (Thanksgiving is approaching, after all) and leave the oven available for multiple pies, just the way it should be.

Fire Magic Grills also come in the free-standing variety, or can be fully installed, so that your deck has a permanent grilling station. I don’t really have a place where something like that would work out, but I’ve certainly been plenty of places with space for exactly that sort of thing. Most of us have no need at all to move our grills once we’ve placed them, anyway.

I mentioned earlier that you can grill just about anything now. Fire Magic Grills aid that process by offering the gas or charcoal options. Many chefs will swear by charcoal, and it does have some real benefits, like that nice, glowing heat that can be manipulated for slow, low heat or raging inferno, should such be required. So many people these days enjoy roasting a red pepper on the grill, or several ears of corn. Something delicate like fresh fish might be your preference. Use your own judgment about whether charcoal or gas flame suits your style of cooking best.

Whichever you prefer, it’s worth it to get a nice grill. It’ll last forever, and you can use it for so many different types of food. I recommend watching Bobby Flay on the Food Network. He’s the king of grilling just about everything.

Man v. Food goes baseball mad.

Man v. Food samples the Homewrecker Dog (photo courtesy of Travel Channel)

The Travel Channel show Man v. Food is touring minor league parks tonight at 10pm ET. I talked to some of the people who make the food that host Adam Richman will sample tonight for an ESPN article, but the quotes I selected aren’t going to make it into the finished product, so I’m going to share them here.

The show visited the Yankees A affiliate the Charleston RiverDogs (home of the ambidextrous pitcher and owned by Bill Murray, Michael Veeck, and former AL President Gene Budig), the independent Gateway Grizzlies, and the West Michigan Whitecaps (Detroit A). The show looks fun, so check it out.

Follow in Man v. Food’s Footsteps

Gateway Grizzlies
GCS Ballpark (2002) – 6,000
2301 Grizzlie Bear Blvd. Sauget, IL 62206
Frontier League, Independent

Signature Food: Baseball’s Best Burger. A standard bacon cheeseburger with a twist: the bun is a Krispy Kreme donut cut in half. Condiments are discouraged.

“The hardest part is convincing someone to try it,” says Grizzlies Events Coordinator Jeff O’Neill. “A lot of people will look at the idea and think it sounds disgusting. It is truly amazing to see the reaction once they try it. The combinations of the sweet bun, the saltiness of the bacon and burger and the bitterness of the cheese melt all together for a little taste of heaven.”

West Michigan Whitecaps
Fifth Third Ballpark (1994). Capacity 10,071.
4500 West River Dr. Comstock Park, MI
Midwest League, Detroit Tigers Class A
Whitecaps in the Majors: Brandon Inge, Joel Zumaya, Cameron Maybin

Signature Food: The Fifth Third Burger. Five beef patties, topped with chili, nacho cheese, American cheese, salsa, sour cream, chips, and lettuce. One a one lb. bun.

Josh Kowalczyk is the Whitecaps promotions intern in charge of the massive burger. According to his meticulous records, nearly 2,000 Fifth Third burgers have been sold this season. 476 intrepid souls have attempted to eat it over the course of nine innings, and an amazing 298 of those succeeded in eating the whole… thing.

Kowalczyk remembers the scene when Adam Richman and the Man v. Food crew came out to the ballgame. “A lot of people found out he was coming, and it was absolutely crazy,” he recalled. “Our attendance that night was 7,921, but more people watched him than the ballgame. He talked to people everywhere in the stadium.”

Charleston RiverDogs
Joseph P. Riley, Jr. Park AKA “The Joe” (1997). Capacity 6,000.
360 Fishburne St. Charleston, SC
South Atlantic League, New York Yankees, Class A
Famous owners: Mike Veeck, former AL President Gene Budig, and comedian Bill Murray.
RiverDogs in the Majors: B.J. Upton, Rocco Baldelli, Delmon Young, Orioles Manager Dave Tremblay.

Signature Food: The Homewrecker Dog. A ½ pound frank is the palette. 25 potential toppings are your colors. The standard condiments are all here, but a true connoisseur will experiment with the likes of sweet-potato mustard, fried okra, and cole slaw.

“Mike Veeck firmly believes in the motto ‘Fun is Good’,” says team representative Andy Solomon. “Which means entertaining the fan from the time he purchases a ticket to the time he leaves the parking lot. Bill Murray sometimes attends games as an ordinary fan in the left field bleachers, with his hat pulled down over his eyes. Other times, he comes out on the field and takes part in the Sumo wrestling. You never know.”

A lack of predictable fare is part of the RiverDogs mystique. Just peruse the concessions board (), which features unique items like the Elvis (peanut butter and bacon), the Tijuana Tornado (a true “hot” dog), and Ye Olde turkey leg in addition to the Homewrecker.

[H/T Bus Leagues Baseball]

Outdoor Parties in Autumn? You Betcha.

Fall is really my favorite time of year. When it’s really hot out, I’m just uncomfortable, really. So I’d much rather throw an outdoor get-together when there’s a bit of a nip in the air – especially as football season really gets rolling.

The trick is to get the thin-blooded folk out into the slightly chilly air. A company called California Outdoor Concepts has that problem licked, it would seem. They sell fire pits with the community of friends in mind. Dining height fire pits are high enough that guests can pull a chair under the lip for meal service, but low enough that guests can rest plates of food or glasses of drink on the table while warming their hands. I like to imagine my friends gathered around the table, laughing and talking with their faces lit up by the glow of the low flames.

The bar height line is, perhaps, more to the point of the kinds of parties I go to. Walking from place to place, talking to everyone you came to see, and always having a warm place to stand or set your drink down while telling a story. Many of them are in tropical themes, which is pretty cool.

Finally, there’s the chat height. California Outdoor Concepts created this one for relaxed evenings. Lean back and put your feet up – it’s just right for toasting chilled tootsies. This one seems great for a late-season party at the beach or a suburban marshmallow toasting.

California Outdoor Concepts is located in – you guessed it – southern California, and they have that area’s general sensitivity to environmental impact. Their tables are built from glass fiber-reinforced concrete (GFRC), which is lightweight, weather-resistant, and eco-friendly. The tables come in a range of styles to fit any taste – some prefer burnished copper, others enjoy a look of stone or wood. Any of these can be found in the company’s stock.

I kind of like the fact that these fire pits use gas flame, as well. Tending a fire can be fun on a cold night, but it also takes the host away from conversation and it’s hard to control the heat of a wood fire. Not to mention the onerous task of cutting firewood, or the expensive habit of buying it to keep around.

Another plus for a fire pit is the portability of it. My land slopes, so the builder of my house put an upper deck over the ground-level deck. I can’t imagine a situation in which a wood fire would be appropriate or safe on either wooden deck. With a portable, integrated fire pit unit, that problem is pretty much solved.

There’s really no reason to let cooler weather end your outdoor fun. And, if you happen to live somewhere where it’s warm year-round, a fire pit is the perfect pool-side accessory. It’s sort of a combination of a table and a campfire, appropriate in any season.

Interview with Damon Lewis of the Mid-Majority

This story originally ran on my college hoops blog Storming the Floor.

Damon Lewis is STF’s strongest tie to the Horizon League. He had commented on a few of our Horizon-oriented stories even before the truly transforming event in our online friendship occurred. Which event, you might wonder? That would be our discovery of James “Big Lumber” Eayrs, who happened to be playing in one of ESPNU’s Friday night specials. I was watching on TV, but Damon was in the arena, liveblogging the event for the Horizon League Network. He never heard the announcers coin the nickname on the spot, but his commenters let him know about it in short order. That led me to write this story.

Later that year, I attended the Greensboro regional, completely ignorant of the fact that Damon was there as well to follow Butler. Always slow to adopt new technology, I had missed his direct Twitter message letting me know that he’d be there. Shortly thereafter, we got the word that Damon was signing on for a dream gig: becoming the second voice on Mid-Majority’s Season 6. I felt it was about time to get to know him better.

Storming the Floor: You and I have twittered and emailed a bit, but I don’t know much of your background. What brought you into the wonderful world of college hoops?

Damon Lewis: Well…I’ve always been a pretty big fan of college hoops. I grew up in Michigan and am just old enough to remember the Wolverines’ National Championship in 1989. I also have vivid memories of watching “The Fab Five” lose two National Championship games…so the pleasure has always been mixed with pain. Don’t get me started on the Brian Ellerbe era…if you can call it that.

I didn’t really understand what college hoops were all about though, until I got to college myself. I was fortunate enough to attend Butler University when they were putting the pieces together for the program they are today. They had made the NCAA Tournament a few times just prior to my arrival in 2001. My freshman year, 2002, they had to settle for the NIT. They made the Sweet 16 in ’03, and after that they spent my final two years hovering around the .500-mark. Again…pleasure mixed with pain. The experience was priceless and provided me with so many memories. Being able to call Hinkle Fieldhouse “home” was another huge factor that heightened my passion for college hoops.

It wasn’t until January 2008 that I was able to truly throw myself back into college hoops. I’d been working for local television stations as a sports reporter/anchor (and got to experience a season in the Missouri Valley), but jumped at the opportunity to leave the “small screen” for the “smaller screen” at WebStream Productions in Indianapolis. Having the Horizon League as a client meant I could cover all aspects of a conference I was already familiar with. Plus, the basketball is some high-end mid-major stuff!

STF: So, you work for the Horizon League web presence. What are your duties there?

DL: First of all…thank goodness for people like the HL’s Commissioner, Jon LeCrone. Without his forward-thinking and cutting edge approach to the way he’s promoting this league, I probably wouldn’t have my current job…and we wouldn’t be having this conversation. It sounds sappy, but college athletics needs more people like Jon LeCrone. Period.

In official terms I’m the Managing Editor of the Horizon League Network, which is to essentially say I’m a jack of all trades. I shoot/edit video, report, and write about anything and everything Horizon League related. Those have always been my duties since I began back in January ’08, but the amount of time I’ve spent on those duties has increased significantly. In fact, at this very moment, we’re in the process of re-launching a brand new HLN for our fans.

Our old site was set up for fans to be able to easily find the live game they wanted to watch…but wasn’t very friendly in terms of finding the original video content we were producing. It wasn’t a destination site for our fans, and served more like a highway rest area. It served its purpose, but wasn’t a place to hang out at with your friends, ya know? The new site is going to offer our fans so many different ways to interact and follow the teams/sports they’re interested in…and still allow them to watch 400+ live events each year. I don’t want to over sell this thing, but it’s definitely something unique in college athletics. And, most importantly, it’s 100% free.

STF: Do you have a favorite all-time player or players?

DL: No true “all-time” favorites, but growing up I really loved watching Jalen Rose at Michigan. He’s a lefty, I’m a lefty…simple things like that matter to you when you’re a kid. Brandon Miller was my favorite to watch while I was at Butler. He’s the toughest/scrappiest player I’ve ever seen on the court…one of those guys you love when he’s on your team, because all of the opponent’s fans hate him. Beyond that, I always enjoyed watching Jamaal Tatum at Southern Illinois…and Terry Evans at Green Bay always knew how to electrify the crowd.

STF: What’s your favorite hoops memory?

DL: 2003 NCAA Tournament – (12) Butler vs. (5) Mississippi State — I drove all day with some friends to Birmingham, AL…the heart of SEC country…to make the 10pm tip. I’ve never had so many people asking, “So…where is Butler anyway?” Slightly annoying to say the least. By the end of the night, they knew where we were from and how good our basketball team was, thanks to Brandon Miller’s runner with just seconds remaining.

After the 47-46 victory (yes, you read that right…47-46), we all piled back into the car because we had a fraternity formal the next night back in Indianapolis. We got back to campus at about 8am…slept for a couple hours…attended the formal, and enjoyed the evening. The next morning (Sunday), we all went back to campus and watched Butler beat Louisiville 79-71 (thanks to Darnell Archey going 8-9 from 3-point land), to earn a spot in the Sweet 16. As the game ended, the student body “stormed campus” and it was total mayhem in the streets. For me, it was the best of both worlds…being able to see the first victory in person, and the second victory with the rest of my comrades on campus. I’ll never forget it.

STF: Have you ever taken the opportunity to storm the floor?

DL: I have! It came earlier in 2003, against our biggest rival, and sealed a regular-season championship. I was in the front row of the student section, so I was able to reach the inner-circles of the hot, sweaty mob. In my eyes, the fact that it was a “last-second miracle shot” makes the storming compliant with the official STF rules. See for yourself…

[editor's note: Yep. Rivalry game, check. Close game, check. Championship clincher, check. Miracle shot, check. You're way good, especially since a regular season championship earns home court advantage and a two-round bye in the Horizon tourney..]

STF: You were in the building the night STF favorite James “Big Lumber” Eayrs got his nickname. Is he as stunning in person as he is on television?

DL: Stunning is the perfect word to describe this kid. Believe me, I had my doubts the first time I saw him warming up on the court. Everything about him just screams “kid at the end of the bench that NEVER sees the floor,” but the first time he fired in a 3-pointer, I was hooked. Something about a 300-pounder ripping the net from 21-feet away just makes the fans go crazy…myself included. What really made his legend grow was that ever since he was dubbed “Big Lumber,” he started playing even better…leading his team in scoring nearly a dozen times down the stretch of last season. He’s definitely worth the price of admission.

STF: Butler has put the Horizon League on the map in recent years. Is there a danger that they’ll become like Gonzaga in the WCC? The only national name in a one-bid conference?

DL: I don’t think there’s any question that Butler is the clear flagship program in the Horizon League, but I really don’t think that truly happened until they were able to completely reload last season with so many new faces, and still be part of the national conversation. That, to me, is the surest sign of a big time program.

Weighing that against what Gonzaga has done in the WCC is tough to do because, well, the Zags have been doing that for years. I don’t necessarily see it as a “danger” situation either, with Butler and the Horizon League. Gonzaga has been carrying the WCC for years, and it seems to be working just fine for them. I think they have clearly elevated the status of the WCC, with the three-bid year in 2008 being a good example.

Right now, the Horizon League is on the verge of being a true two-bid league. If that can be achieved it would be a nice signal that Butler is, indeed, elevating the status of their league despite being its only national power.

STF: My wife doesn’t know this yet, but I’m nursing a secret desire to come out to Indianapolis this season, on pilgrimage to Hinkle. Will it be worth it to lower the bank balance and risk her displeasure for this experience?

DL: No question about it. Hinkle Fieldhouse is one of the few arenas in the country that the college basketball purist just has to see to believe…right there with The Palestra and Allen Fieldhouse. Saturday afternoons, when the sun shines in through the windows…that’s when to see it for the first time. Ask anyone. Not to mention, Butler is going to be a force on the national level this year, and has a great slate of home games, both in and out of conference play. And hey, if you want to go a different route, Indy is also home to the literal opposite in terms of college basketball venues…with “The Jungle” at IUPUI. Don’t laugh…it was good enough for current San Antonio Spurs guard, George Hill!

STF: You’ve been invited to join our favorite site – The Mid Majority – in the upcoming season. How did that come about, and what will your new role be?

DL: It actually all happened this past March when I was on my way to Greensboro, NC to cover Butler in the 1st round of the NCAA Tournament. On my way down, I stopped in Dayton, OH at TMM’s annual Play-In Game Party. I just had to try some of South Park Tavern’s famous pizza…and I wasn’t disappointed. Anyway, while I was there Kyle tossed out the idea of us joining forces for this season, and offered me the opportunity if I was interested. Needless to say, I was floored, and thankfully I was able to make it all work with the rest of my commitments.

As for what I’ll be providing…think of it as all the things that don’t necessarily require traveling the country. I’m planning to get out to a few games early on before the Horizon League season starts rolling in January, but aside from that I’ll be focusing on more of the critical analysis and stat-geek stuff. Game of the Night, Mid-Major Baller of the Week, and The State of the Other 22 will all be written by me. And, I’ll be providing some other type of entry most weekday mornings. K-Dub and I have some other things planned as well…but you’ll have to wait for Essay Season to find some of those things out. How’s that for a tease?

STF: Now that you’re an official TMM iconoclast, give us your take on why fans should care about what happens in the Other 22 conferences, even if they graduated from Big Time U.

DL: Fans should care about what happens in The Other 22 because year after year, a handful of those teams prove that they’re just as capable of winning in March as any team from Big Time U. Our handful may be a little smaller when the Round-of-32 begins in the NCAA Tournament, but even the BCS schools get pared down to only a handful remaining when the 2nd and 3rd weekend of March Madness rolls around…and even The Other 22 can lay claim to having recently taken a spot in that 3rd weekend of the NCAA Tournament.

What really does it for me are the teams that can compete on a national level, despite the significant disadvantages of not being in one of the power conferences. The main disadvantage is money (sounding a little like K-Dub here, I know), but that plays into everything that separates Big Time U from The Other 22. Scheduling, traveling, recruiting…every team in The Other 22 is at a major disadvantage when compared to teams in BCS conferences. Schools in The Other 22 have to build their programs with creativity, both on and off the court. Creativity in how to market their programs, creativity in how they recruit players, then creativity in how they play on the court. Most of these programs don’t have the talent to run up and down with the big boys, but they still find ways to beat them. That’s what makes it so fun.

You’re So Vane

Think about weathervanes for a minute.

According to some random dude on the internet who must be getting his PhD in weather vane technology, the first vane was created circa 48 B.C., which is far earlier than I would have guessed. I had it in my mind that weather vanes had begun as fairly simple, functional devices with directional arrows and little else. According to A Brief History of Weather Vanes, the first recorded instance of the mechanism was decorative in the extreme: Half-man, half-fish, four to eight feet long, and dedicated to the worship of the Greek sea god Triton. Since the wind was believed to manifest divine powers, Andronicus - the ancient astronomer believed to have created the first vane - was trying to find out which way the wind blew in more ways than one.

I grew up in the midwest, so I always saw the classic rooster-with-compass-points weather vane on top of barns. That gave me the rather silly notion that weather vanes were invented by farmers, and probably hadn’t existed for more than a couple hundred years. Reading up on the state of the art has disabused me of that notion pretty quickly. Clearly, weathervanes served both form and function from the very beginning, and went back to the most ancient historical times.

As it stands today, however, I am much more likely to want one for decorative purposes than any other reason. I can certainly turn on the Weather Channel or head to the website to find out where the wind is coming from, how hard it’s blowing, and whether it will knock over any of my trees in seconds. But I won’t deny that there’s a certain romantic appeal to the idea of squinting up at the roof and muttering portentously “Sou-sou’west. Arrrr, we’re in fer a blow!”

Current weathervanes are designed to suit every taste. I’m still pretty fond of the classic, proud rooster, who comes in many shapes and sizes these days. But makers of weathervanes are also exploring aeronautical themes, Americana of every stripe, and bronze replicas of every possible buyer interest — from wine bottles to lighthouses.

Since Halloween is rapidly approaching, the one I saw recently that featured a witch riding her broom really struck my fancy. I’m not sure I could carry it off during the other eleven months of the year, but I’m sure some of our Wiccan friends could give it a go. There are several that feature rugged outdoor themes like bugling Elk and snowy pine trees, which seem tailor-made for remote getaway lodges and rural homes.

One thing that’s always held me back is a regrettable fear of heights. I am not crazy about the idea of climbing up on my roof for any reason. The garden weather vane is probably the solution to that problem. Many vanes are now designed specifically for mounting on poles that can be driven into the ground, making them easier to see, and easier to set up. 

It’s a nice innovation. Assuming the ancient Etruscans didn’t come up with it first.

My trip to Knoxville, TN – in photos.

UT recruits sit right behind the goalposts, next to the Peyton Manning Locker Complex. Not too shabby.

They’re always surrounded by coeds in orange and white.

When a couple of callow Vols were rude to these UCLA fans, my hosts took it upon themselves to show them the more cordial (and much more common) side of Knoxville.

I loved this photo. This little girl was already fully into the spirit of UT football. And she has great seats.

Give to me your orange-clad, huddled masses, yearning to breathe foobaw.

The play was under review, but Shouting Man and Shouting Woman had the call right from minute one.

Oh, yes. They did play Rocky Top. My official count was fifteen iterations from the Pride of the Southland Band, one techno cover from somebody’s boom box at the tailgate, and one ringtone. I feel a bit let down.

Running out through the “T”: what an incredible moment. Smokey IX, the real-live dog mascot, was howling right along with everyone else. Total goosebump moment.

The Vol offense looked really good – before the snap.

I had a great time in East Tennessee. It’s a gameday atmosphere every college football fan should experience.